Saturday 28 November 2009

smash list








1. James Spader, before the middle aged Boston Legal spread, and maybe afterwards, providing its over the phone. 

2. Vincent D'Onofrio, again, before the spread and away from the roles where he fucks with his face, i.e. Men in Black, The Cell, Full Metal Jacket etc .

3. Robert. Always.

4. Richey Edwards. First pin up of my adolescence and though his anorexic self loathing is a bit off putting now, I'm still hard pressed to find anyone who looks better in eyeliner.

5. Micheal Fassbender. Wot a man. Makes creepy step dads sexy in Fish Tank & was the best thing about Inglorious Basterds, (well, after the Nazi dude). 

6. Sebastian Koch. Burly & gentle all at once. 

7. Matt Dillon. There are few jaws like that anymore.

Monday 16 November 2009

P.S


I am returning home to England for a few months armed with a nice new camera.(I paid considerably more for it than that & now realise I got ripped off.)

Sorry my blogging has been so dreary of late, all you anonymous readers out there, all 4 of you!

It's about to improve. Time to get inspired again. Huzzah!

Tuesday 3 November 2009

Bed Time Read


&

 
I wish I'd met him.

Old is new

I found this rotting on my old live journal. It was posted just over a year ago and it's pretty pertinent for me that's nothing's changed!

There is some persistant feeling inside me so familiar that it is barely an anxiety anymore. It stems from rich, packed expereinces of a person's company neutured to a sterile exchange of typed words; where the humour arrises from the use of ironic smilies, while each person hopes the other is smiling as their exchnage is fed into the machine.
 It's revealing I suppose. There are some people for whom words remain just that - sign posts, news bulletins and stats. Then there are others leave you hankering for flesh and blood details and emotions however coincidental. You hope to be close to them not only in what they claim to have done but also in the very moment they sit & type to you. You want to watch their face as they do it because it's the face you miss. The play of the eyes as you watch a brain at work. Micro-expressions of that vivid life within. Maybe it's the reassurance of a soul you recognise.
 All the same, you work with what you have and throw tit bits to the grape vine, remembering that you have obligations. 
 Some people feel that same psychic pull to you even if you never feel it yourself. What you tell them is never enough. What you tell them will never be enough. They just hope to be included in your life becuase they value what they can learn from it.
 Knowing I will never see these people again is frightening. It's the persistent knowledge that with each new day these distant  fires slowly die. 
 I pass hundreds of people in a day, never to see them again. I barely remember a single face. There are too many people to know in a lifetime so the few that risk it to know you & your history are worth your time. They are worth all the time in the world.
 So to think your time with such people is through while the earth still has some to spare feels like a crime. Estrangement is the greatest theft. But it makes me wonder - if we had the time, if we had all time, what would we end up doing with it? Wouldn't we just take everyone for granted? Maybe then our sentence to know most people for a breath of time what makes our relationships function.
 It's hard to stomach neat conclusions & imagine closure while that feeling remains of a melancholic sickening. Your soul needs the sort of nourishment  the explanations offered cannot supply. I can't help thinking that it's when you are in dialogue with something you are alive. When you are left alone, some part of you dies.


x

Wednesday 28 October 2009

Beats blowing glass motherfucker!


I have 4 months off for Summer, returning to school in March - what the hell?! I've already decided that the next film I make when I get back will be about a furtinure removalist with a problematic chair fetish.


My boy isn't my boy anymore but I find it impossible to introduce him as anything but that. Sad but true. I keep thinking we'll slip back into it accidentally, although I know that's not for the best right now. My GOD, his eyes are blue.

Things do seem easier when the sun's out, I must confess - there's energy in the air and my blood is warmed to the point where it actually circulates properly. I think I was hankering for Summer. It's been 12 months of Wintery weather, thanks to my jet-setting lifestyle. To usher in this happier season of vit D, my beloved flatmate bought me a bike on Ebay. It's purple with pint sized white wall tires. I'm hoping that reckless rides in breezy summer frocks will lift my occasionally weary spirit. The last month was a bit of a stinker all round.

Tuesday 6 October 2009

Picking myself up (fell over again)

Firstly:
I love this song of late.

(In general: I think I need to read more of Bukowski's fiction. It keeps me honest.)

Thereafter: Saw a doco about Henry Darger the other night by the same woman who made this. It was rather scary to have it narrated by the overly knowing voice of a seven year old Dekota Fanning but was otherwise rather classy. Sensitive in its open minded approach, it has a stunning command of spanning mountains of his material. I wish I'd seen his apartment before it was dismantled in 2000. It may have had something on Bacon's inspiring mess

Curious?

Thursday 1 October 2009

LOVE


I give up.
I google imaged "break up" and got this image. It was nice while it lasted.

Wednesday 30 September 2009

Pen to paper


Drawing again, hot damn! That's right, no more talk, actually drawing. There's Burlesque life drawing night at a bar on Fitzroy Street, every Wednesday, that will set you back $15 for a pot of beer, drawing materials and a naked lady with assorted nipple adornments. Steal! You win more beer if your drawings wow & get a chance to showcase and sell your collective output at the end of the 10 week course. There are some truly frightening leftovers of the last time's participant offerings still displayed on the venue's walls, unsold. I doubt even their own loving mother's would shell out $20 to support such visual abortions. One can only hope the process was cathartic for them.

I want some nipple tassels.

Also attention grabbing today:

.
(Don't watch if you're jitterish/epileptic.)

My boy made me brekie today. We were late for school again.

Sunday 27 September 2009

Please



http://www.savevca.org/

Theme = Cupcakes


p r e t t y


Clip I made last late semester for the twee Animation Club at Loop bar. We didn't win the cupcakes/resounding supremacy over other animations entailing cutiepie animals disfiguring each other with guns.
Thus, was a bit bolox overall but, onwards and upwards! 
Check out the local talent that provided the tune.

He digitized her is all.



  • About to edit for a month solid. Gush.
  • My boy looks mean in leather.
  • Finally saw Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN oh, 8 years late. I'm sorry I missed the party for so long. Sun drenched hypnosis. Gorgeous.
  • Seeing family friends for dins dins at Mess Hall makes me miss Mama. Are there any robins in this country? 
They need importing.

Saturday 19 September 2009

Now that nobody's looking



I loved this film, bar the final mawkish line. Maybe the rest was just as bad and I just related to it too much to nit pick the faults. Surely we can all agree that the depressing movie post-break up pastiche sequence was fucking wonderful.

Tity Bits:
  • Making films with a head held high for the first time...ever? Latest took place down on a beach with a lot of gale force winds and long nights of drinking at Jan Juc caravan park. It's a "psychological potboiler." Ha.

Back on.

Wednesday 26 August 2009

Tuesday 14 April 2009

Uncharted territory




(Click to enlarge)

Aside from whatever the above picture may allude to on the home front, the boyfriend and girlfriend of this particular relationship are inspiring me to draw again. Their art's undertone of sexual perversion almost reminds me of another illustrator I stalk online...only he's dropped more acid/is in touch with his spirit animal. 
I have thoughts peculating of producing a small scale zine that illustrates my observations about falling in love at first sight, (cliche, yes but in my hands? Haunting!) There's a cute little distro called Sticky here that has me fired up to make some trouble... 

Sunday 12 April 2009

Wednesday 8 April 2009

Conscious outburst

What do you want?



I want to be more than wanted.
I want to I N S P I R E !

(So to hell with chasing tail)

I want to be strong at what I do, respecting my work so other people will respect it too.

Without compromise.

* * * * *
Mundane Update!
 
1. Still no home to call my own. Did such things ever worry P.J? My head is spinning from the ongoing search.
2. Presenting this tomorrow in class, with a view to blow minds.
 3. Joining in for a cross-town scavenger hunt on Easter Sunday, but only after viewing a new print of Robocop or something equally amazing at the Melbourne Comedy Festival.
(...if I had money to burn, I could so a LOT of damage across the bulging cultural calender of this town. I've been tempted left, right and centre by a host of events. Sadly, despite all the variety on offer, I've ended up eating a lot of fries and sauce on street corners of late. I've officially joined the hoards of mangey, indecisive students! Again, Le Student 8 accommodation gets the blame.)
4. Next week I plan to introduce my Aussie chums to Pancake Day,dutifully preforming my service as the novelty pommy bastard in doing so.

Monday 30 March 2009

No great insights into cinema or gay semiotics,

I'm too dazed by the American team's routine!

After nothing but good word and various stints at the film festivals worth their salt, I gave Water Lillies a go at this year's Melbourne Queer Film Festival. It was well cast and with one or two striking scenes focusing mainly on the truly bizarre spectacle that is synchronized swimming. Otherwise and for the most part, it was fairly straight forward, methodical and as such, a wee bit over long. That is how most teen romances feel but I guess I'm one for finding a less long winded way to convey that. The synth soundtrack was dreamy in parts.
The audience was almost entirely lesbians couples that laughed themselves silly over next to nothing. I can only assume this was either a form of provocative flirtation with their partners or a reading of the film's more nuanced gay in-jokes that I'm in the dark about. 
Still undecided if it was comforting or depressing that so many of these movie goers fit the Lesbian style stereotypes to a tee. I suppose it's a proud uniform of sorts. It must make dating easier. I was probably sending out similar vibes by wearing big black Doc Martins. 


Part of me can't believe stuff is real, or at least that it has such hard core levels of competition. It's the camp of figure skating with all the elegance removed.
If there's a decent documentary about it, send a link my way!

As March draws to a close

  • Finally settled on the bodycare cocktails to mark my time in Melbourne. Angelica! Danelion! Mistletoe! Avocado! Rose hip! Oh my!
  • More film shoots. Such an amazing amalgamation of strange tasks, including: stringing together giant musical notes, chasing a man with a umbrella, coughing up a twig, a butterfly and a car key, in that order. Ah yes, the return to zero budgets and junk food catering... 
  • Slowly sussing different ways home in the evening. Melbourne is expanding by the day.
  • Beautiful houses that make me loath my current lodgings further. Peter Greenaway, home-made comics and the pungent smell of Dove soap. A boy making architecture models in a room full of pantings and fascination.
  • The thought of spending time with someone kind and sharing things with the ease and comfort of lovers makes me wobble and dream again.
  • Missing people all over the world. The dancer in London and the climber in Baltimore. The snap-happy Croatian with the beautiful mind. The boy with the remarkable mole in Washington, who gave up hope of a reunion months ago. My dear darling petite one, Sophie. Above all, I miss her.
  • Thinking too much. Watching beautiful things as a distraction.

Wednesday 25 March 2009

i want to be a forester


Directed my first movie at VCA! It's called "Blow up" but has nothing to do with Antonioni. Think instead a deadpan romantic comedy with an excessive number of balloons. There are copyright issues if I post it online but I'm thinking that once it's edited, I might host it on here for a day as a sort of internet exclusive. This should work but I'll need to be careful to remove it before word gets back to the head honchos at school. 
One night only! Watch this space! I might even make an indulgent teaser trailer.

One day, I'll make something this beautiful:
 

Otherwise, I'm eagerly contemplating my next home with like minded friends. Le Student 8 is a joke that isn't funny anymore. I get the official boot on the 6th of May but I'm itching to move now. This potential candidate is tempting me to ditch my current doldrum address, with or without the deposit. It's the doll house I never had! I need to smoke on that Balcony! I need to warm myself by that wood stove! I need to play house and cook again. I've forgotten what it's like to chop vegetables, so based in cans is my current diet. 

&

I discovered Bruce Conner and his fabulous rhythmic montage at Melbourne Cinematheque today.  His work was "clinically and deliriously" preoccupied with working found footage into kinesthetically engaging short films, celebrating narrative cinema while self-consciously deconstructing it. There's a lot to say about it but bed is beckoning. Effectively? There's much to dig.

Monday 23 March 2009

Origin of my name

As we're talking about girls called Flo:

I think Kylie Minogue voiced Florence in the creepy CGI version. I once dressed up as the character for some primary school jaunt and won 2nd place!
So no, it's not the city, as much as I may have harped on that it was when I was there.

Saturday 21 March 2009

This week's creative writing? A juicy love/hate relationship!

(Not my finest piece of writing but I had some accompanying photos handy on my hard drive to tart it up.)
“Flora”

I’ve only ever met one other girl called Flo. She took it as a sign that we would be life long friends

This new and dominating Flo was the same age as me with a curt, Sloan Square accent, unruly cave woman hair (that she was forever sweeping from her face) and an impressive collection of multicoloured ethic skirts of the drop-out-beach-bunny variety. She had latched onto the idea that I was as dissatisfied with high school and the modern world as she was. Perversely thrilled but unsure of how to proceed, she made a large show of how we had the same uncommon bra size and insisted that we were to share underwear over the coming weeks of our arts summer school.

 Her strange admiration towards me grew. I can only assume it was because I accompanied her for countless cigarettes and entertained her stories of flirting with grown men and her fantasies of loving a Rastafarian. Her eagerness to do everything with me as a witness was flattering but it was fairly clear we had little in common beyond our names and measurements. Her strong willed denial prevented my opinions from derailing what she was fashioning as a perfect friendship. My wiliness to talk to anyone often left her feeling neglected and caused a rampant jealousy to develop. Her mood swings became drastic and contradictory as possessiveness crept in.

It all came to a head when our student group took a day trip to the coast to end the month on a high. The beach was deserted and the pier was rotten but we’d pinned our hopes on the venture and even the increasing drizzle couldn’t dissuade us. Despite the water being cold enough to induce coma, I managed to swim out far enough to float and bob. Flo wasn’t far behind and when she drew along side promptly challenged me to swim even further.

When we were safely removed from the group and had covered an impressive distance, I found her arms snaking around me in a sinking embrace. She dappled my face with brief kisses in what I assumed was an adrenalin rush brought on the icy water. It wasn’t until Flo kissed me full on the mouth, with the taste of dirt and salt, that I realised the significance she was investing in the moment. She withdrew to gage my response with desperate eyes. Sensing the redundancy of the act spoke volumes I was too overwhelmed to address, we only felt numbness distinct from the freezing sea. I swam away towards the others and hoped what had just happened would wash into the Mediterranean.

As soon as we retuned to town, Flo withdrew and downed two bottles of vodka. Her wretched screams soon filled the third floor of our sleeping hotel. I was reduced to hiding in another student’s room to avoid what I could only assume would be violence. All the misunderstood rage an 18 year old could possibly hold turned the building into a terrifying prison with me lined up for its firing squad. Eventually, the course lecturer intervened and Flo was practically sedated.

We barely had a month to get aquatinted but in that time we’d managed to skim the bond of friendship and a warped sort of love only for it to nose-dive into a blazing hotel showdown, fuelled by God knows what kinds of damage. We parted ways at the end of our time in Italy brittle strangers who, for all they had shared, would remain estranged out of a mixture of emotion and necessity. 

(Better memories from Venice)

Also: Best script we've read so far this semester has been from this movie. I recommend tracking down a copy for yourself.

Wednesday 18 March 2009

You heard it here first


! xoxoxox !


http://www.myspace.com/trashkit

My friends are in your new faviorite band! An ex-Electrelane member is on the action too - how fucking ace is that!? I swell with pride.

Monday 16 March 2009

I couldn't care less about clobber

BUT
I feel I may have to wear red shoes exclusively some day

*****
Weekly creative writing time!

50 word mini-epic - 4 Foot Romance

Submerged in the cloakroom, hiding behind voyeuristic coats. After weeks of my nagging, we’re clutching hands. Clumsy kisses make me want more but I’m too young to fathom what follows. Playground swagger drains from him as I persist. Maybe I come on too strong. Our parents receive a phone call.

 

Impacted

 

The sterilised smell and lighting of hospitals put me on edge. As soon as I step inside I know rooms are filled with bad news and long stay patients. The very air stifles and numbs. It’s no comfort my mother’s health is at the mercy of this humourless environment.

Her room is too small for its massive, automated bed, and even that seems unable to support all the medical paraphernalia attached. She’s lost in a mess of wires and sweat-drenched bed sheets and for the first time in my adult life, I’m truly frightened. She’s out of her mind on morphine and starts to scream at my father for wearing bandages only she can see. In the agonising moments that follow, my dad tries his best to keep my mother calm. He adopts an unnaturally measured voice but his stress and strain are evident. Neither of us can recognise the woman in the bed. Watching my mother’s pained, hysterical out burst take the last ebb of energy she has, watching my father grow unnervingly quiet, faced with the room’s soulless décor and its view of a muddy, unremarkable car park, I suddenly understand what mortality might amount to -anonymous defeat.

Sunday 15 March 2009

Youtube sees me through the day once more


& watch Nick Cage's efforts in the Wicker Man remake when you need a pick me up.

A few of my favorite things:
  • Serendipity
  • Second hand clothes
  • Bad Idea Magazine

Revaluation island!


Cargo cults. Heard of them before? The John Frum kind? No, I hadn't either. Now I'm over this side of the world, I feel a pilgramage coming on, maybe even a final film project.

A visiting lecturer introduced me to the subject. Mike Daisy is a John Farley/Jack Black-esque American chap that makes ends meet as a performance "monologist" (this, from what I could gather, is basically an overly enthused stand up comedian avec great capacity to rant and gush - my dream job?). He's quite the fire cracker raconteur and his emphasis on the pragmatic pursuit of the sort of audience coalescence that can't be commodified is "right on!" in my books. 

He's just returned from the Vanuatu island of Tanna where he was investigating the surviving enclave of the cargo cult. Armed with a crate of Levi jeans, he asked if he could stay a while. For reasons I can only try to describe below, the islanders embraced his offering and a strange odessy followed, one that has me itching to plot my next trip abroad.

When the American military rocked up in the 1930s to build army bases to bolster their efforts against Japan, the islanders' rudimentary way of life was abruptly introduced to the 20th century. Airplanes, type writers, torches, demin...overwhelmed, they could only assume these men in military fatigues possessed supernatural powers - Gods amongst men!


When the Americans abandoned the bases years later, the natives continued to revere all things American and practiced sympathetic magic to attempt to conjure their American gods once more. They would build 1 for 1 scale models of aircraft bombers out of bamboo and foliage in the hope that it would attract U.S aircraft from the heavens. The guitar was widely adopted and played, being, as it is, the iconic instrument of their holy America. They adorned their bodies with stars and stripes tattoos and clothed their backs with improvised army uniforms in the hope that it would lure the Americans back.


Much of this practice died out across the island chain over time but on the island of Tanna it has continued to go from strength to strength, gaining momentum, and in particular their worship an American called John Frum, (a name that could well have come from war-time GIs who introduced themselves as "Jon from America").

Of as population of 18,000, 70% are committed followers of the cult and the remaining population usually joins in when festivals and celebrations are held. Apparently, the reason this particular island holds the practice so dear is that years prior, they were occupied by both French and British colonialists simultaneously and subjected to abject barbarism of a truly appalling nature. The Americans that passed through treated them with a sort of relative decency, for the sake of keeping the peace, that redefined the white man. Combine that impression with their visitors' ability to fly, communicate with people beyond the island and offer Marlboro cigarettes, and it soon appears you have merciful deities on your doorstep! Tanna never had it as good as when the Americans were in town.


All this is swept under the carpet somewhat. Vanuatu as a nation is embarrassed by the cult's apparently hysterical adulation for America and it's 30/40/50s artifacts. Tanna has one of the most active volcanos in the world and its tourist industry prefers to champion that as the island's offering to the world. It's a great shame as this rich and fascinating culture is lost to obscurity as it denies the islanders a great segment of their national identity in post-colonial history.   

There is little to no decent footage of the cult. There are photos in circulation, and some rather fustity anthropological articles that mention it but otherwise it's only one in 10 people who have heard of it and even they assume that it's all but died out.
Mike Daisy is currently touring with a monologue based on his experiences there, put in the context of the current international financial crisis, in what I assume is an exploration of different conceptions of the success and failure of the "American way." 

So, anyone up for a trip to America land?